In Memorium or Morbid?

I need thoughts on this, as I seem to fall in the middle somewhere.

My mother in law was killed 3 years ago today in a horrific accident. She was young, energetic and full of vim and vigor, so to speak. It was completely devastating, and it started a chain reaction of terrible things in our lives.

Fast forward to today. Every year, my husbands family wants to get together, make her recipes, and remember her. We don't get together to celebrate her birthday, she is always generously remembered at all holidays and family events. She is very much still a very present driving force in our daily lives.

So, my question is this. Is it an honor to gather on such a solomn occasion (even tho, in all fairness, it is peppered with funny stories, good food, and focus on the positive things that have happened). Or is it rather morbid to remember such a horrific day?

Me? I understand gathering and remembering. But we do that EVERY TIME we are together for the most part. I personally would rather spend the time with my immediate family and tell them I love them, value them..because you just never know when it may be ripped away forever.

So..I guess the floor is yours now.