Am I the only one who thinks this way?

Now, don't get me wrong. I know Phin loves me, and when all hell breaks loose, I am the GO TO person. I take pride in that, and I love it.

However...does anyone else think that their baby likes everyone else, instead of you? This is a very difficult thing to explain. It just seems like there are days when I go from being center of the universe, to NOTHING. NADA. Momma who? He loves Daddy all the time, loves grandparents, loves aunts and uncles, and close friends. Always smiles, laughs, and does great. Then I have to take him home. He lets me know with his silence he is anything but pleased. For example-today I picked him up from a very good and social day with his grandparents. He was silly, giggling and eating. I load him into the car seat, immediately the tears start flowing. I can understand that. I am taking him out of a fun situation. However, when we get home, he almost IGNORES me. I try playing with him-NO. I try to play "catch the baby"-NO. I try giving him a bottle-NO. I try snuggling and kissing-NO. But, as soon as I get the hint and start doing something else that doesn't focus on him (like making dinner!) He is ALL OVER ME. Sigh.
Am I the only one who thinks their kids like everyone but them?? Please tell me no!!

This weekend was HOT. So, while focusing on keeping Phin cool, I of course went ballistic with the camera..someone really needs to stop me. He isn't going to recognize me without the camera infront of my face!! At this rate, the poor thing will be on the therapists couch by the time he is 5.
Gotta love nakkie baby bums, though!!

Tarot fun

Shamelessly stolen from Jeanne and Karyn:

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Old School Fun!

Last night, I had the unexpected pleasure of just hanging out with my good friend, A. A moved 'over the bridge' about a year and 1/2 ago, and it just hasn't been as easy to see her. Previously she lived .8 miles away!! Anywho, we did some errands after Russell came home and took charge of a very cranky Phineas. We did some shopping (can I just tell you how great the sales are at KMart recently?!), then we just drove around and talked. We visited all the filthy rich areas around where we live, and oogled at the big houses. In fact, I was oogling so much I almost took out of of the filthy rich peoples cars that was parked on the side of the road. D'oh!

In the near future, A and her husband are going to be moving back to the Cape. It will be nice to have them close again!
Love ya, kitten!

Well butter my biscuit.

Whoa. Big happenings going on here. The most important of which is GUESS WHAT??

Yesterday, as I was feeding Phin his lunch, I was again overcome with the urge to contact my cousin I told you about in this little doozy of a post...
http://chroniclesofaboy.blogspot.com/2007/05/openly-hostile-letter.html

So, I picked up the phone and called. SHE ANSWERED. After getting over the initial shock of hearing her voice I found out what had happened. I don't want to get too into it, and violate her privacy, but HUGE medical issues resulting from her pregnancy which was very difficult. It caused her to essentially lose a year of her memory, and not to mention, she is now legally blind as a result of complications. She is also suffering from severe post partum depression, and post traumatic stress disorder. She is getting the help she so desperately needs thru medication,supervision, and therapy.

Surprisingly, I have let go of all the anxiety, stress, anger and hostility. I believe her. And I am just so thrilled to have her back. I realize that it may not be the same, and it may take a while because she has so many other things going on. But that is ok. She's back.

And I am happy and content with that.

I admit it. I am an Addict.

Hello, my name is Sara and I am a photo taking, album making junkie. I developed this habit on March 20th, 2006. That was the first time I used the camera, and immediately got this instant high that I just try to keep recapturing. I love the instant gratification of a digital camera, to immediately see what I just saw with my own eyes, albeit thru a lens. And the pure adrenaline rush of visiting Snapfish, placing the order, selecting fun borders, adding text...it is overwhelming. The ultimate high, tho, comes when I get those precious blue envelopes in the mail. Now, THAT is pure delirium.

Yesterday I arrived home from work, Phin in tow, and saw the brown box sitting on the porch. I could not at that exact moment reach to get it, as I was weighed down with 2 armfuls of stuff. After safely depositing child and other miscellaneous crap in house, I rushed out to collect the goods. FOUR overstuffed envelopes of glorious, glossy finish photos.

I had to wait til Phin retired for the evening to organize all the pics chronologically and prepare to place them lovingly in their albums. Well, let me tell you. This set of pics (all 289 of them) essentially only cover THREE days. Of course, these days are very important-his birthday, his birthday party and his first haircut. I FILLED TWO ENTIRE ALBUMS. Phin is 14 months old, and has 12 albums to commemorate his first year.

Yep, I got myself an addiction.

All's well on the Mommy front

It has been a very busy past few days-May is a very busy month in my family as we are bombared with birthdays..my Dad, stepmom Sue, and myself. Not to mention, Mother's Day is thrown into the middle of the chaos.

But, this year, my birthday was WAY low key. And that is the way I like it! We all got together on Friday night, ordered Chinese and had cake and ice cream. They don't get much better than that. I hate being the center of attention-I remember when it was time for my wedding shower. There were a grand total of 4 of us that went to dinner and a movie. It was just perfect. The baby shower was a bit bigger, but still controllable. My friend, K, threw it for me with a rubber ducky theme. It was so much fun. No games were played, just a silly hat to wear and good friends.

Mother's Day was amazing...Russell surprised me with a trip to the local garden store and informed me we were ripping out the huge, nasty, overgrown bushes on the left side of the house. They were ok until we got walloped a few years ago with a nasty snow storm that killed 1/2 of one of the trees..See? The pictures are at the top of the post because I haven't finished my coffee and can't figure out how to put them in the right place. I think it looks good, no? We still need to seed new grass, and lay some mulch down, but that should be a cakewalk compared to the trauma (physical!) it was getting those trees and roots out...

I love May!!

Happy happy, joy joy!!

I just have to brag a bit..I worked until 3pm today, then went over to my parents to pick up Phineas. He was sleeping. He woke up happy, albeit disoriented (he is like mommy and takes a while to wake up!)
We got home, and this kid was ON FIRE. He was laughing, smiling, giggling and doing a lot of talking. He was a pure pleasure to be with. I just love days like this, and makes me wish bedtime wasn't 8pm...but anything beyond that is just pushing it..It took me a while to find the perfect balance of spending time with him, and over doing it. Glad I found it.

PS-honest, my nose isn't THAT huge..bad angle!!!!

A Gentle Man Lost

On Thursday, May 10th, the world lost a first class human being. His name is Chris, and he was killed in a horrible accident. He was my dear friend Andrea's best friend, to the point they were each other's health care proxy's. They lived together for years, and he was a constant presence in our friendship. He helped me move on a moment's notice, when no one else could help me. He could tell you anything you ever wanted to know about fires, firetrucks, trains, fish, working at a hospital-everything. In fact, when I was admitted to the hospital to be induced, he came out to meet me, and get me settled in the maternity ward. He was wise beyond his years, but still mischevious.

We could not see him for a long stretch of time, but when we got together, it was like no time had elapsed. He was a quiet presence that had a terrific laugh, and an equally terrific bellow. He was a patient at the dentist office I used to work at. He was in my husband's Boy Scout Troop.

Our lives, altho somewhat distant physically, seem inexplicably intertwined. My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years, and that time has been filled with immense loss-my mother in law, father in law, husbands grandfather, and 3 of our beloved cats. But this is different. This is someone our age, we grew up with him. In fact, my older brother got into a world of trouble in his early teens for teasing Chris and his cousin relentlessly. Mortality has unfortunately hit our family in huge rogue waves, but this. This is just different.

I apoligize if this is just rambling and strung together-but it is difficult to type when my face is burning with the tears. Don't know when his services will be, but hopefully he will get what he always wanted-a firefighters funeral.

He was a rare, special person that forever will leave a pit in my heart. Out of all of our friends, he is definately on a fast track to heaven.
Rest in peace, CWH.

An openly hostile letter

Please excuse me while I digress so early in the blogging process, but I JUST CAN'T LET THIS GO!!
Background: Cousin who grew up with me and was someone I considered my best friend, lived in Europe for several years, had a baby 3 months before me. Came for a visit in June 2006-had plans to meet up-NEVER HEARD FROM HER AGAIN despite numerous attempts. (She has a history of just ignoring people if she is upset/hurt/angry, and in this case, LIED to.)
So, please entertain me. I'll get back to Phineas after this. It is now coming up on a year since our last contact. There was no argument, no screaming. There was nothing. Just silence.

Dear J;
I SO hope you get your ass, somehow, someway to this letter. I am so upset that I get these waves of need to speak to you. Just when I think I have put the matter to bed, wiped my hands of it, BAM!! it comes and smacks me upside the face. It is very unsettling to be "dropped" by your own family. Honestly, I could care less what the others think, they are hypocrites who engineered this whole thing. It is sad that I still hold onto a glimmer of hope that when I open my email, there will be a note explaining everything. Perhaps you have been taken prisoner and brainwashed. (Folks, that is a serious suggestion. This family is frickin' nuts). I know you were very weak emotionally and physically when you returned home. Your illness while pregnant, and then dealing with an infant was very difficult. I am sorry that people you call your family took advantage of that and cut you away from me. Especially during this time when we could have been enjoying each other, and trying to figure out what these little humans want. We could have traded different techniques, advice and stories and taken our friendship to a whole new level. BABIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER, NOT RIP THEM APART. In this whole twisted scenario, I feel pity and sadness that you are depriving the kids of each other, and that you obviously can't think for yourself and pick up the FUCKING PHONE, write a letter, drop an email-Nothing. Your silence stings, your absence in my life has created a black hole of sadness, hostility, and confusion.

I really need to find a way to stop thinking of this. And I really need to get over it, and move on.
Suggestions???

Let me introduce myself....

Hi there to all in the Blogosphere-

I am Sara, 35 years old, and married. We have a son, who for the sake of privacy we will call Phineas(I have always loved that name,and my hubby immediately rejected that name when we were trying to come up with an appropriate name) who is 14 months old and the light of our lives. My husband will be called Russell(as in Crowe...think Gladiator, folks!), and is a service manager at a car dealership. Russell has 2 children from his first marriage, a girl who is 14, and a son who is 11. They are the subject of a whole other blog, but this one will focus on Phineas.

I never thought I would have kids, to be honest with you. I just couldn't visualize me being THAT responsible..funny, as now I can't see my life without him!! I have several friends that keep asking when I am going to have baby #2..Pretty easy answer..NEVER!! I feel good with one, and that is that. I feel no pressing desire for another. In fact, I took the bold step of ridding my house of all of the baby gear he has already grown out of. I am so ruthless!!

So that is about it. We'll see what happens next!!